Our Lives in Black and White
by alphadirk
Summary: Something happens while Kanda, Allen, Lenalee, and Lavi are out on a mission. *Character Death* Yullen


**Soooo...This is my SECOND fic, though my first is NOT online. I plan to put it up someday, though. Please please please! I need constructive criticism. I'm not so good at this yet. :P**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN D. Gray Man and I NEVER WILL. Haha I don't really like these things...**

"No, no..." Lenalee sobs. The sound is distant to me, as if an echo from far away. Hot trails run down my face, not wanting to believe that it just happened. What just happened didn't. It couldn't have. I fall to my knees, not caring that I hurt all over. Not caring about a thing besides his expressionless face, his cold eyes. Dead eyes.

My heart...hurts. I reach for his sleeping, no, dead form. I must tell myself the truth. He's gone. He will never be here again. 'You're alone...'

Pale skin is paler still, hair now blending with the rest of him. Silver-gray eyes are widened in shock, forever unseeing. His chest is exposed, a giant hole shown ripped through his body.

_The scene replays a thousand times, and I shake my head, not wanting to remember. But I do anyway. That last moment._

"Lavi!" Allen shouts as the air in front of them is set on fire. Lavi is caught in the middle, not understanding what's happening until it's too late. He's screams, twisting and writhing in pain. Allen dives in, though it's not like he could. By now, all of the surrounding air is just white-hot flame. He was already caught.

I'm caught up in the same flame, scared for my love. He's burning, and there's nothing I can do. I scream, my voice matching pitch with Lavi's. "ALLEN!"

The flames stop suddenly, and I can't hear anything but my own labored breathing. There was no sound from Lenalee, either. We were separated, all of us only a short distance away though. Lavi appears to be hurt the worst. Allen seems fine. I sigh, relieved. I'm not injured much, either. I look back and see Lenalee around ten feet away. She's clutching her heart, probably scared to death. It seems like she didn't get hurt at all.

I stand shakily, then begin slowly walking toward Allen and Lavi, who are together because Allen held on to him. 'What the hell...? Am I...jealous?'

Allen stands, Lavi still sitting on the ground. He has his head in his hands. I think he's crying. I sneak a glance at him and see just a small flash of sun reflecting off of water on Lavi's face. 'I was right.'

Allen and I met halfway. "Bakanda, are you okay?"

"Tch. Why should you waste your sympathy on me?" I reply sharply.

"Because...I was worried about you."

"Tch." Why is that the only thing I can think to reply with? I mentally slap myself. Something's nagging at the back of my mind. "What...was that?" I ask.

"I don't know..." Allen says, looking behind me at Lenalee, who has risen.

Evil laughter. Well, just really creepy laughter. Right behind _him._Allen. Allen whirls around quickly and activates his Crown Clown, jumping back in the process. A ghostly, battish face appears out of a sudden mist, grinning madly. Top hat adorned with ribbons, wearing a strange trench coat, out steps the Millenium Earl, poised to fight. He immediately attacks, aiming at Allen, who is closest to him. Allen dodges quickly while the rest of us think enough to run toward the two fighting. We draw our weapons, jumping into the fray.

An abrupt yell from Lavi, who's shoulder is bleeding profusely. A scream from Lenalee, high up in the air. More like a battle cry. Allen is attacking gracefully, despite being in such a bad position. Raising his Exorcist's Sword above his head, he yells like a maniac and lands a blow on the Earl's pudgy arm. The Earl steps back, surprised, then makes to spin around and stab _me._

'No thanks.'

Allen screams, a long piercing, blood-curdling scream. One that freezes my entire body, makes me go cold. I don't want to turn around to see what has happened, but I must. Long hair swishing behind me, I spin around wildly and my eyes land on Allen, who has fallen. Lenalee screams, a scream quite similar to Allen's, though not as torturous.

Everything happens in slow-motion.

Lenalee continues screaming, I hear Lavi's labored breathing (what has that fool been doing the entire time?), and Allen. Allen is bleeding to death, at least from my perspective. The blood pools around his un-moving form on the ground. My heart stops. I see red. I run blindly toward Allen's killer, though maybe he's not really dead. Maybe...

Lenalee runs toward Allen, again clutching her heart. She looks terrified to death. She reaches his body, kneeling quickly and just staring at the boy. Tears begin leaking from her eyes and running down her face. She falls onto him, sobbing like mad.

So. He really _is _dead then. I hear Lavi yell, no longer having trouble breathing. It's a battle cry, similar to the one issuing from my own lips. We both attack at once, striking the Millenium Earl, who seemed quite pleased with himself at killing Allen. The damage from that one anger-filled attack was enough to send him stumbling back, a colored mist appearing around his form. The mist fades quickly, revealing an angry-looking man that just happened to have stigmata on his forehead.

I gasped, assuming Lavi did the same. We both stopped in our tracks, halting the attack. We gaped at the man before us, who looked...human. Wait. Wasn't the Millenium Earl anything _but _human?

"Damn you!" he yelled. "You made me...you weakened my powers, didn't you?"

"How the fuck are we supposed to know?" Lavi shouts.

"Well, for that, you'll all have to die. One down, three to go."

I saw red again, and charged, not caring what I hit. Lavi made a strange noise as I passed, probably terrified of my face. Of _me._ I was the embodiment of true rage at that point. I launched myself at that bastard, the one who killed him.

I saw his eyes open wide in momentary surprise, then turn deadly cold. He returned the movement, launching himself at me at the same time. Lavi drew his weapon and fell into step next to me. I hoped he was prepared. I was fighting to kill. I was fighting for revenge.

The second my weapon connected with the Earl's body, I was flung to the side. I landed roughly on the ground not too far away. My left arm hurt like hell, and my vision was blurring slightly. I saw Lavi tossed in a similar manor. I didn't want to think about what might happen to Lenalee. Not all of my friends were going to die today. Yes, they were my friends. I finally acknowledged them as something more than just...expendable lives.

I stood up shakily, beginning to run toward the Earl one more time. Lavi was standing as well, though he wasn't running. He was badly hurt, and I knew it. No sympathy. He should just go hide with Lenalee.

"This one's mine, Baka Usagi!" Why were we all using each other's nicknames on the battlefield? Eh, it didn't matter. What mattered was the monster in front of me.

Finally, after such a long time (though in reality, only a few seconds), I felt my Mugen push through the Earl and his breathing stop quickly. I ripped him apart right where we stood, wondering why he didn't put up more of a fight. My mind was still in battle, but it was catching up slowly but surely. The Earl lay dead at my feet.

A more pressing matter arose in my mind, one of great urgency. Allen. I whirled around and spotted Lenalee crouched over a body lying on the ground. 'Is he really...dead?'

I stalked over slowly, taking my time to think things over. My head was low. Somewhere behind me, I heard footsteps, the steps of the red-haired Exorcist.

There he is. His white hair is scruffy, ruffled during the fight. His silver-gray eyes are wide open, staring into nothing. He isn't breathing, that much I can tell. I drop to my knees, the beginnings of tears running down my face.

_This corner is comfortable. It's warm, but not warm without him. I think I'm crying, but I don't know. I don't know anything anymore._

I crouch over him, eyes blurry from tears. I grab him close to me, not wanting to let go of my little beansprout. Crying silently, watching his sleeping face, I close his eyes gently and set him down on the ground in front of me. I can't think, can't move, can't speak. At this point, everyone is watching me silently. No one dares to speak, even Lenalee, who is sitting broken on the ground. Like Allen.

_What happened after that? I don't remember. Going back to the Order, talking to some people, though I don't remember who. Komui, maybe. Why is this corner so comfortable? Maybe because I have finally accepted it? Accepted his death? No...It's only been a year today. There's no way in hell I could already be over it. I lost my one and only love that day. And he's never coming back. Four words alone come to mind. My last words to him._

"I love you, Allen..."

**So, was it okay? Don't blame me, I'm not good at action scenes. Anyway, my friend Addy inspired this with her amazing imagination. I don't really care for Yullen, but it's growing on me. So, I decided to write this. Anyway, please review!**


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